Lil Humpers! My teenage years are kind of a blur. I don’t know if it was the raging hormones, the copious marijuana smoke, or all the MILF pussy I was scoring, but the whole thing blurs into more of a porno movie than a memory. Goddamn, I’d make a killing if I could charge people to take a trip down my own personal memory lane. Until they come up with that kind of tech, you’ll have to settle for a website like LilHumpers.
LilHumpers.com is a really new website, but it’s clear from the landing page they’re off to a really strong start. Who else gets off the ground with bitches like Monique Alexander and Chanel Preston fucking their hearts out on video? This website is all about young dudes getting action from these insatiable cougars, and I’m already raging hard just watching the preview video.
Young Dudes Scoring with Prime MILFs
There is a silent montage of young men boning women old enough to be a mom at the top of the landing page. It’s immediately clear the moment you load the page that this ain’t some fly-by-night, half-ass porno operation that hired bitches off of Craigslist or from behind 7-11. These are top-shelf whores in crisp, HD flicks with quality sets, quality camera work, and overall high production values.
The images in the montage come at you so quickly, filling up the seconds with facials, stripping, pussy eating and even some leg humping. Yeah, I’m getting flashbacks to my teenage years. It looks like a lot of the setups involve leering teens peeping in on these older ladies, just like you used to do. Of course, since these are porno movies, the youthful gentlemen in question end up getting that poon instead of just jerking off to their mom’s panties.
There is what looks like a Play button on top of that video preview, but like a lot of modern porn sites, they seem to have forgotten what that sideways triangle is supposed to mean. Everywhere else in the world, it starts your video or the song you’re trying to hear, but on porn sites like LilHumpers it just brings you to the fucking sign-up page. The same goes for all the preview thumbnails on the rest of the landing page.
I was already pretty committed to a membership as soon as I realized they had girls like Katie Morgan and Brandi Love in movies that sounds a lot like my own teenage experience. If you ain’t got the change, you may not want to hover your mouse over those thumbnails for the closest thing you’ll get to a free video preview. These MILFs are hungry for young cock and willing to do anything to get it.
Ask Mom for Your Allowance Early
A few features of Little Humpers are spelled out on the sign-up page. They don’t get too deep into hard numbers or anything, instead just giving you a few bullet points that do a decent job selling the site. They’ve got MILFs, those MILFs are getting fucked by young dudes in filthy ways, and they’ve got multiple Jordi El Nino scenes. LilHumpers feels that’s enough to convince you, and maybe they’re right. One of the screengrabs shows a stunning cougar giving this little dude a footjob, so you fetishists should feel right at home.
A monthly membership usually runs 30 bucks, just like it does on basically every other premium porn site these days. As usual, it’s cheaper if you sign up longer, or you can buy your porno like a meth addict with the trial membership. Sorry, grandpa, if you’re paying by check you’re not eligible for the one-dollar trial.
Surprise! You Get More MILF Porn!
After signing up, You’ll pass through the PornPortal on your way in. You’ve seen this a bunch of times if you’re a regular premium porn wanker. They’ll try to sell you some more paysite memberships, but you can just click on through if you’ve already blown your monthly porn budget on LilHumpers. Anyway, you should be reading reviews on The Porn Dude before pulling the trigger on a premium porn site.
One of the really fucking cool things they don’t mention out front is that a bunch of Brazzers updates are included in your membership. This seems like such a big, fucking awesome deal that I’m really surprised it’s not listed as a perk on the sign-up page. It’s possible this is only a temporary thing since LilHumpers is so new and still building their own library. Officially, there have only been a couple of dozen LilHumpers scenes released so far.
The Brazzers updates definitely fit the theme of the website. You get to see all the new stuff from MILFs Like It Big, Mom’s in Control, and Mommy Got Boobs. Along with the latest LilHumpers movies, you end up getting a bunch of updates every week, all with that high quality you expect from Brazzers. I’m talking about girls like Abella Danger, Gia Derza and super MILF Alura TNT Jenson getting hammered in blisteringly realistic HD. Fuck yes!
Cutting Edge 3D Cougar Porn
I like to be kind of a cutting-edge pervert, always polishing my pole to the latest and greatest in exclusive premium smut. That’s why I went straight for the newest scene on LilHumpers, Dr. Jordi, Lil MD. Jordi is that little Spanish dude, El Nino Polla, who gets all the fucking luck in so many LilHumpers movies. Brooklyn Blue plays the naughty older nurse in this one.
It’s a full-length, half-hour scene. It opens with this slutty nurse talking to a doctor and I immediately get the feeling neither would be much use if I was actually sick. My nuts do ache a little bit, though, and I think this broad is going to help empty those bad boys out.
A minute into the flick, Jordi jacks the real doctor, locking that old motherfucker in a closet and stealing his lab coat and stethoscope. The soundtrack is cute and lighthearted like we are about to watch a cartoon rat steel some cheese and squirm into a hole. Instead, the fake doctor pokes a sick guy in the head with a thermometer and then sticks the nurse in the face with a turgid meat stick.
The video quality is as clean and high quality as you’d expect from a site that can afford this level of talent. It’s good enough that you can see where Brooklyn’s spray tan didn’t go through her fingers. It’s good enough that you can see every twat fold and drop of pussy juice, and the picture stays crisp and keeps moving without buffering issues even as you jump around the timeline.
Experienced Ladies Fuck So Good
Remember when all the premium porn sites included streaming and downloading with the regular membership? Those were the fucking days, huh? It seems less and less common for downloads to be included without an upcharge, and lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of premium sites that don’t have downloads at all.
I looked everywhere for a Download button on LilHumpers, but I couldn’t find anything. They’re not even trying to squeeze some extra change out of you for the privilege. I guess I understand it from a business perspective; if you can just download the movies, why sign up for more than a month at a time? On the other hand, it sucks when something that has been standard for so long starts getting phased out everywhere.
That’s got to be my biggest complaint about LilHumpers. This porno is fucking hot as hell and I’d be inclined to save a bunch to my hard drive if that were an option. Check out The Great MILF Hunt with Dana DeArmand and tell me you’re okay with just one viewing. Yeah, if you’ve got a thing for MILFs, you’ll be back for more of this shit.
Whether you’re a young dude who likes smashing older women, or an older dude trying to relive your lost youth, LilHumpers really delivers on their premise. They’ve got some of the hottest MILF porn stars in the business really going to town with these little dudes. The production values are truly first-class, making it an easy choice for you motherfuckers and aspiring motherfuckers.