XD Porner has a simple name, slapping the Internet’s version of laughing face in front of a name that’s just got to be synonymous with dirty movies. I’m not sure this is a laughing matter, though. TBH IRL, I’m not going to LMFAO or CTFU while I’m watching a MILF give a BJ in an NSFW MMF threesome shot in POV at a BBQ, but if all goes well, my sperm will GTFO of my nuts ASAP. The TL;DR here is that IMHO porn rules, SRSLY. #hashtag
Whether you’re the kind of deranged pervert who thinks butt sex is hilarious or you’re just the regular kind who jerks off to it, XDPorner.com has got you covered. This is a free tube whose main gimmick is full-length pornos, making it an enticing funhouse for anybody looking to settle in for a nice, long fap while using the public computers at the local library. They’re a newer tube, springing up at the very tail end of 2022, so let’s see what they’ve got to differentiate themselves from the other million tubes out there.
The animated Brazzers ad is hot as fuck, I won’t lie, but so are the thumbnails spread out all over the screen. You’ll get a moving preview if you hover a mouse over one, though that isn’t even necessary to tell this is all studio porn. The lighting is bright, the sets are sparkly clean, the resolution is high and women are absolutely fucking gorgeous. Most free tubes are a mix of professional porn and the homemade stuff, but not here. Even the Amateur section is full of long reality porn movies from real studios.
Even if you’re the biggest DIY porn fan in the world, you’ve got to admit; the studios make fuck flicks with much better runtimes. The movies on XD Porner typically run between 30 minutes and an hour. The shortest thing I see on the front page is 18 minutes long, which means a lot less clicking around while you’re trying to flog the biship.
Naturally, there are big-name pornstars and up-and-cummers everywhere you look. Ebony babe Nia Nacci is banging some white dude in a football jersey, Alexis Crystal is getting it on with Sunny Honey is a lesbian movie, and MILF Cherie Deville is doing really inappropriate things with her stepson, whose dick is a lot bigger than his dad’s. No shit, I just pulled those names from the very first videos I randomly clicked on out on the front page.
That’s all on the front page. If you hit the Categories button in XDPorner.com’s header, you’ll get a thumbnailed list of some of their more popular categories like Asian, BDSM, Big Ass, Bondage and Creampie. The dropdown also displays some of the current trending searches, which is how I know XD Porner fans enjoy pussy licking, group sex, and cartoons.
I’ve got bad news for the hentai fans, though: none of the movies tagged with Cartoon are actually cartoons. If that’s what you’re looking for, check out my list of Hentai Sites here at ThePornDude. The rest of you, come along with me to XDPorner’s full Categories page.
Like they’ve done in the dropdown menu, the full list also has photos to illustrate pornographic subgenres like Big Tits, Cumshot, Mature and Public. It’s a fairly streamlined list compared to the sprawling Tags lists you find sometimes, keeping it narrowed down to just 60 categories. You’ll find all the standards like Deepthroat, Brunette, Orgy and Casting. (Incidentally, have you checked out my new casting site, PornDudeCasting.com? It’s free and I bang hot girls!)
The slight downside to the streamlined list is that the really kinky folks out there may be a little underserved. They’ve got a couple of freaky niches like Fisting, Bondage and Shemales, plus a whole Fetish section, but there’s no deep dive into subgenres like femdom, BBW or rubber.
I knew they had to be adding shit all the time, though. That’s because the tube is only a few months old, but they’ve already got nearly 6,000 movies in the library. That’s thousands of hours of high-end porno to fuel a months-long coke-and-Viagra-fueled masturbation binge. Don’t forget the lube or you may experience severe chafing.
I decided to start my real fap test of XD Porner with the very latest video, uploaded just 13 minutes ago. Totally Relaxing For Ava Addams’ Hot Body is a 34-minute affair that starts playing as soon as I hit Play. The quality was set at 360p by default, but I only got a second of buffering when I bumped it up to 1080p HD.
I haven’t turned my adblocker back on since I started my review, so the only protection I have is whatever’s baked into my browser. I’m watching Ava get those big, beautiful titties oiled up in HD, and I haven’t had to see a single ad on the video page. I’m even able to skip smoothly around throughout the video without getting a pop-up or waiting for buffering. That luscious, tan body stays crystal clear and high-def as I skip to the boob-wank, the blowjob and the doggystyle.
Typically, when I review a porn tube that’s giving out big-name studio smut like this, my write-up ends with a summary of the typical compromise: instead of paying with cash for this high-end porno, you’re paying through the spam and general inconvenience. That simply isn’t the case here, at least not during my visit. They blew my expectations out of the water.
If there’s any minor complaint I have about XDPorner, it’s that they could use a Pornstars page. They’ve done a good job tagging the pornstars, so I was able to instantly find Abella Danger’s 28 movies on the site, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to implement one. A master index of the babes would just give you one more level of convenience, zooming you directly to the preferred video whores of your wet dreams.
Even if they don’t make any changes to the setup, XDPorner.com is definitely worth your time if you’re looking for a free fap and prefer full-length movies. They nail all the targets for a good free tube, from the big and constantly updated collection, to the wide variety of categories, and especially that convenience factor. That last point’s a big one, because while you may be able to find this material elsewhere, you’ll be hard-pressed to find it so readily available in HD without paying for it or blowing up your browser with dick-pill ads. Check it out.