XD Porner has a simple name, slapping the Internet’s version of laughing face in front of a name that’s just got to be synonymous with dirty movies. I’m not sure this is a laughing matter, though. TBH IRL, I’m not going to LMFAO or CTFU while I’m watching a MILF give a BJ in an NSFW MMF threesome shot in POV at a BBQ, but if all goes well, my sperm will GTFO of my nuts ASAP. The TL;DR here is that IMHO porn rules, SRSLY. #hashtag
Whether you’re the kind of deranged pervert who thinks butt sex is hilarious or you’re just the regular kind who jerks off to it, XDPorner.com has got you covered. This is a free tube whose main gimmick is full-length pornos, making it an enticing funhouse for anybody looking to settle in for a nice, long fap while using the public computers at the local library. They’re a newer tube, springing up at the very tail end of 2022, so let’s see what they’ve got to differentiate themselves from the other million tubes out there.
Big-Titty Sluts in Long-Ass Movies
XDPorner’s got a typical tube setup with the wall of porn out front, and an overall clean layout. The logo is simple text, lower case and modern, with a dark color scheme and purple highlights. With or without my adblocker running, the only ad I see is a thumbnail-sized GIF for Brazzers with a hot brunette getting fucked through a hole in her jeans. That’s a good sign right away, because so many tubes are absolute minefields of spam who blow up your browser before you even start clicking.
The animated Brazzers ad is hot as fuck, I won’t lie, but so are the thumbnails spread out all over the screen. You’ll get a moving preview if you hover a mouse over one, though that isn’t even necessary to tell this is all studio porn. The lighting is bright, the sets are sparkly clean, the resolution is high and women are absolutely fucking gorgeous. Most free tubes are a mix of professional porn and the homemade stuff, but not here. Even the Amateur section is full of long reality porn movies from real studios.
Even if you’re the biggest DIY porn fan in the world, you’ve got to admit; the studios make fuck flicks with much better runtimes. The movies on XD Porner typically run between 30 minutes and an hour. The shortest thing I see on the front page is 18 minutes long, which means a lot less clicking around while you’re trying to flog the biship.
Naturally, there are big-name pornstars and up-and-cummers everywhere you look. Ebony babe Nia Nacci is banging some white dude in a football jersey, Alexis Crystal is getting it on with Sunny Honey is a lesbian movie, and MILF Cherie Deville is doing really inappropriate things with her stepson, whose dick is a lot bigger than his dad’s. No shit, I just pulled those names from the very first videos I randomly clicked on out on the front page.
Anal, Threesome, Creampies and Kinky Stuff, Too
And just what kind of naughty fun are these lovely ladies getting into? Well, from the looks of it, these sexy sluts are doing all sorts of perverted things. I already see so many of the main porn categories being covered without having to dig for anything. There are blondes getting it doggystyle and teens doing anal, POV BBC flicks, lesbian titty massages and Abella Danger sticking her ass in the air and diddling herself. I see dirty teacher blowjobs, a vampire-themed lesbian threesome, incestuous sex by the pool and mom squirting in the kitchen.
That’s all on the front page. If you hit the Categories button in XDPorner.com’s header, you’ll get a thumbnailed list of some of their more popular categories like Asian, BDSM, Big Ass, Bondage and Creampie. The dropdown also displays some of the current trending searches, which is how I know XD Porner fans enjoy pussy licking, group sex, and cartoons.
I’ve got bad news for the hentai fans, though: none of the movies tagged with Cartoon are actually cartoons. If that’s what you’re looking for, check out my list of Hentai Sites here at ThePornDude. The rest of you, come along with me to XDPorner’s full Categories page.
Like they’ve done in the dropdown menu, the full list also has photos to illustrate pornographic subgenres like Big Tits, Cumshot, Mature and Public. It’s a fairly streamlined list compared to the sprawling Tags lists you find sometimes, keeping it narrowed down to just 60 categories. You’ll find all the standards like Deepthroat, Brunette, Orgy and Casting. (Incidentally, have you checked out my new casting site, PornDudeCasting.com? It’s free and I bang hot girls!)
The slight downside to the streamlined list is that the really kinky folks out there may be a little underserved. They’ve got a couple of freaky niches like Fisting, Bondage and Shemales, plus a whole Fetish section, but there’s no deep dive into subgenres like femdom, BBW or rubber.
Fresh Full-Length Smut on the Daily
The top of the XDPorner.com front page shows half a dozen of the most recent videos, but they’re probably not all of the ones uploaded today. They’re constantly adding new full-length movies to the pile. They’ve added eleven today, including a couple they uploaded since I began writing this.
I knew they had to be adding shit all the time, though. That’s because the tube is only a few months old, but they’ve already got nearly 6,000 movies in the library. That’s thousands of hours of high-end porno to fuel a months-long coke-and-Viagra-fueled masturbation binge. Don’t forget the lube or you may experience severe chafing.
I decided to start my real fap test of XD Porner with the very latest video, uploaded just 13 minutes ago. Totally Relaxing For Ava Addams’ Hot Body is a 34-minute affair that starts playing as soon as I hit Play. The quality was set at 360p by default, but I only got a second of buffering when I bumped it up to 1080p HD.
I haven’t turned my adblocker back on since I started my review, so the only protection I have is whatever’s baked into my browser. I’m watching Ava get those big, beautiful titties oiled up in HD, and I haven’t had to see a single ad on the video page. I’m even able to skip smoothly around throughout the video without getting a pop-up or waiting for buffering. That luscious, tan body stays crystal clear and high-def as I skip to the boob-wank, the blowjob and the doggystyle.
Dude, Where’s My Spam?
My dudes, if you’re a cheapskate who loves the free tubes, I’m sure you can already see what a big deal this is. XD Porner is a full-length tube without all the fucking spam you expect from the format
, and it’s in legit HD. I review an absolute shit-ton of porn tubes, and I can’t remember seeing one with such a clean, efficient presentation of whole-ass porno movies.
Typically, when I review a porn tube that’s giving out big-name studio smut like this, my write-up ends with a summary of the typical compromise: instead of paying with cash for this high-end porno, you’re paying through the spam and general inconvenience. That simply isn’t the case here, at least not during my visit. They blew my expectations out of the water.
If there’s any minor complaint I have about XDPorner, it’s that they could use a Pornstars page. They’ve done a good job tagging the pornstars, so I was able to instantly find Abella Danger’s 28 movies on the site, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to implement one. A master index of the babes would just give you one more level of convenience, zooming you directly to the preferred video whores of your wet dreams.
Even if they don’t make any changes to the setup, XDPorner.com is definitely worth your time if you’re looking for a free fap and prefer full-length movies. They nail all the targets for a good free tube, from the big and constantly updated collection, to the wide variety of categories, and especially that convenience factor. That last point’s a big one, because while you may be able to find this material elsewhere, you’ll be hard-pressed to find it so readily available in HD without paying for it or blowing up your browser with dick-pill ads. Check it out.