Site Review: xHamster Amateur

Welcome back, uh… audience? It’s MrPornGeek back again, with another Xhamster review, and as you all know it, I’ll definitely never be able to do this as good as ThePornDude does, so just bear with me and try to understand. Not so long ago, I did a review of Xhamster.com as a site in general, but today we are going to be reviewing the amateur section of their website, so I, as an amateur myself, will try to do my best in portraying this site accurately before I cry myself to sleep.

The first look at everything

Right off the bat, when you enter this section, you see that they are offering you to see whatever you want in these little bubbles, so at least the search for the perfect thing can be cut short. Amateur MILF, anal, blowjob, black, cuckold – those are just some of the things that are being listed here, and as you all know, my favorite is the cuckold one, because I often find myself having fantasies about having a girlfriend and giving her to a black guy with a penis bigger than mine. I don’t like that, but that’s just the way it is and is meant to be. Below that you can only see the videos listed one after another and it goes on and on and on for a while, so that’s not pretty exciting.

What you can find on this section in it’s truest form

Now about the videos, there are a lot of things that can be said, since this is an amateur section, which means you will be seeing no Lisa Ann around here, or whatever you were dreaming of seeing. You’ll see something even better! Instead of well-known pornstars getting it on in professional studios with high-quality cameras and directors around them, you’ll get the chance to see like, ordinary people on one end, and on the other you’ll probably see, like, two fat rednecks trying to have sex but struggling. That is until a guy can pull his big fucking belly around manage to slip his tiny cock into the girls’ vagina, which usually smells like grilled cheese because that’s what fat people smell like. Same as me really, that’s why I know I ain’t no PornDude. The next kinds of videos that you can see here are like a ton of Asian incest porn. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not used to watching Asian MILF’s, but for some reason, their huge boobs can be very exciting. It usually has some weird fucking story like her son not being able to relax because of an exam, and she has to help him, and then she thinks of a brilliant idea to suck his dick dry until he cries himself to sleep. I don’t know why nobody thought of doing that to me until I became a fucking degenerate, but you know they say, you can’t be bitter, right? At least ThePornDude wasn’t while I was stealing all of his jokes, so… Next up is the worst kind of people I’ve ever seen in the porn community, and it’s still fucking producing a rage reaction inside of me every time I think about it – the people who have the best equipment, and yet no sexual skill at all. Now I ain’t no fucking expert in the field (because I never got my dick wet unless it was a can of beans), but if you want to record porn as a hobby or a side hustle, you don’t need all these fucking expensive cameras. And all the other recording equipment which I can’t even think of, nor remember the names, but trust me, if your dick is small or your pussy looks like a fucking salami sandwich, nothing can make it look pretty or big. No matter what camera you use, what room you’re recording in, no matter how much you try, if you’re not a gold star talent, toss that fucking camera out the window and go fuck yourself.

The perks on Xhamster

In my last Xhamster.com review, I talked a bit about the perks, considering the fact that this is a free website. You get to watch and comment for free, and some of the free videos are also great, so you’re not being cheated on or something, but still, one of the best things to happen on this website, at least in the amateur section, is the Xhamster.com premium. When you buy premium, you can see people of all races, shapes, and sizes, but unlike these rats in the regular amateur section, these people usually know what to do and what to make, since they want to produce quality content and actually make some fucking money out of this.So, the solution that they’ve chosen is to be careful with who they record porn with, and how everything will look like. Everything is clean, sexy, and people fucking know what they are doing. Can’t a man ask for that at least? If I already have to spend another day in my mom’s basement wallowing about not being like ThePornDude again, then I might as well get some quality porn to touch my noodle too. Jesus…

Something of substance about the videos

Okay, I did make some jokes about the videos by now, but I think that in order to be at least a bit fair to my audience, instead of stealing jokes all the time from ThePornDude, I’m going to try and actually spill some info about what you can find on here. As I said, you can already find videos of every type, and many people come here and make porn as a way to get some extra money and to enjoy their side hustle. Like, you have a girl and a guy, they are excellent partners, and then they decide to record at first some passionate sex, while slowly freeing themselves to record more and more deviant content by the day, so that’s like a great thing. You can see some great blowjob recordings, and in some videos, they are also extended to sex, and it just sort of feels more genuine, because it’s real people behind the camera. It could be an accountant you know, the cashier, an attorney, whatever you want and can imagine, but you’ll always remember that it can never be me since it’s known that the only thing I do all day is jerk off to porn and cuddle with my pillow partner. Sad and pathetic, but don’t worry, I’m NOT happy. If you keep looking, you can find that amateur videos are mostly recorded by people who are already in their thirties for some reason, because I guess that when you’re a teenager and still capable of having monkey-like sex without it being a special occasion, you really don’t give a shit about porn. But, funny thing, if you’re a single girl and still a teenager capable of having sex and looking pretty while you’re doing it, for some reason you’re not gonna find a man to record that shit with, instead, they all just switch to webcams and masturbate to completion with some losers watching. Now, when you’re a girl, it’s okay for you to do that, but when I try to jerk off in front of the audience, suddenly it’s a fucking problem, huh?

Registration and enjoy the content to the fullest, plus a conclusion gratis

While you really do not need to become a member in order to watch the videos, you can definitely go ahead and become one. That gives you the opportunity to react and post idiotic comments to women online, or, if you’re an even bigger loser, you can also give critiques, like ‘next time swerve your tongue around the tip’ or some crazy shit like that, because I know you’re tempted to do it. And if you’re not satisfied with that as well, you can become a premium member where some really good content is waiting for you and your wiener to join, or, even more crazy, if you want to become a performer (highly doubt it, but okay) you can just open up an account for people who wish to conduct business over here, and that’s basically it. To conclude this review, the amateur section is a wild cesspool of twisted, most depraved, but at the same time sexiest shit, because trust me, real people and their kinks will always beat professional porn up anytime.