“Yes, Porn Please XXX,” I said out loud as I drug myself from bed this morning, eyes blurry, hangover pounding and morning wood raging. It had been a long night, a bookend to an even longer weekend, and now Monday was upon me with all its demands and responsibilities. Sometimes, a man needs a hard reset in the form of an intense, porno-fueled fap session; other times, a man just needs to get off into a sock before starting the work week. Honestly, with me there’s a near-constant urge to stroke my aching boner, and that’s before I even sit down to start reviewing porn sites.
Whether you’re tuning in on the morning commute, you’ve found a moment while the boss is out of the office, or you’re sitting at home waiting on that next stimulus check, YesPornPleaseXXX.com has the hookup on those dirty movies that make your masturbatory adventures that much more realistic, intense, and productive in their ball-draining depravity. This ain’t your typical hole-in-the-wall tube giving out the same paysite samples and half-ass amateur scenes you find everywhere else. Their gimmick is free full-length pornos, making this an ideal place to settle in for a meat-beating marathon. I’m almost half-awake now, so let’s get in and take a look around before I get kicked out of Starbucks again.
I know there are nerds on the Internet who will bang a drum about freedom of speech, but at the end of the day, Cash Rules Everything Around Me, and around you, and around the whole porn industry and the entire Internet. There ain’t a free tube in the world with the resources to match MindGeek in court, so when YesPornPlease fell into their crosshairs, we all assumed that was it, forever.
Imagine my surprise when I heard about Yes Porn Please XXX. I don’t know if it was created by the same perverted minds as the original, but the basic setup is virtually identical to the original brand. It’s the wall-of-thumbnails format you’ve seen a million times before, with a relatively clean black presentation. You’re going to want to keep your adblocker activated; otherwise, half the screen fills up with ads about hardening your weak boner.
All the movies I mentioned have been added to the collection within the last few days, as the library is growing by handfuls of flicks every day. I’ve shaken my dick at the site on a Monday morning, and they’ve already added a cool 15 movies to the stash. I’m talking full-length films, too. Doing some quick mental math, it looks like today’s additions alone add up to around ten hours. You’re definitely going to want to bring some real lube and not just your mom’s lotion; otherwise, you might be setting yourself up for some serious chafing.
YesPornPleaseXXX.com sprung up nearly a year ago in April 2020. In Internet years, that’s a respectable but still relatively short run; they’ve clearly established themselves, but don’t yet have that grandpa cred sites earn when they’ve managed to stick it for years even as their competitors go under. Young or not, that machine-gun upload rate is obviously going to add up on a day-to-day and hour-to-hour basis. It looks like I picked a good day to review the site, because they just reached 100 pages; as of this writing, there are around 2,000 full-length pornos available for free fapping.
Aside from a bit of spam, one of the worst things about a collection of this size is just trying to decide where to start beating off. Speaking as a professional masturbator, my advice is not to overthink it. Remember: it’s all free to spank to as much as you want, so you can always come back to watch that French maid blowjob, that stepsister fingering scene, or that teen threesome getting you all turned on from just the previews. You don’t need to take in all of Yes Porn Please XXX at once. Browse, wank, recharge and repeat.
It goes without saying that these full-length pictures have to come from somewhere, and it ain’t the half-ass basement smut operations or the DIY swingers pulling out their phones to capture 40 seconds of the beej. The content here comes from some of the biggest studios and most respected producers in the game. Beneath the YesPornPleaseXXX logo, the header offers quick links to the site’s collections of BangBros, Brazzers, and Reality Kings movies. South American porn is popular on the site, too, so there’s also a link to their Brazilian selection.
And that’s actually where the links end. One of my biggest complaints about the site is that while they’ve got a nice, thumbnailed index of some of their hottest pornstars; there’s no master list of studios and paysites to browse. For that matter, I couldn’t find a Tags or Categories page either. The movies are tagged with sex acts, fetishes and body types, so it’s easy enough to use the search bar to find whatever you’re into, but I do prefer to see multiple ways of digging through the mountain. The bigger the collection is, the more important those features are, and we’ve already seen that this library is huge and growing fast.
Of course, I don’t think these are going to be dealbreakers for anybody. You may not be able to reshuffle the sort order like you can anywhere else, but nobody with a hard dick is going to go away unhappy because there’s just such an extensive and fantastic collection here. I ended up watching a Brazzers movie starring the beautiful, big-titted Miss Raquel. Running 32 minutes, the scene revolves around a bra thief breaking into her house to steal an armload of over-the-shoulder boulder holders. Instead of calling the police when she catches him, the fiery Latina MILF shows him her tits, grabs his dick, and then puts it in her mouth.
I’m not ashamed to admit I wasted nearly a whole day lost in YesPornPleaseXXX.com’s sprawling archives of full-length smut. The long runtime format makes this a good site for perverts looking to sit down for a nice, long, intense fap instead of just a quickie before getting back to work. There are some minor quirks with the site’s organization, but at the end of the day, they’ve proven to be a worthy successor to the YesPornPlease name. Whether you were a fan of the original or you never even heard of it, you’re definitely going to find plenty to keep your hands full around here.